Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14 NIV

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Tomorrow will be October 19th. Nine days later comes October 28th.

Three years ago, those two dates were the bookends of the longest period of waiting I’ve ever endured. It marked the changing of a season of my life, transitioning from a time to laugh to a time to weep, from a time to dance to a time to mourn.

For those of you who don’t know me well, the first date was the last time I spoke with my fiancé, Frank. The last was when his body was found.

All I could do during that time was wait and trust in God, waiting on his timing to reveal what he was doing.

Sadly, things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to. There was no happy ending there, and my trust and faith in God was sorely shaken.

It was a long time before he and I were on speaking terms again. The better part of a year actually. And our relationship has been changed forever.

Yet it’s in hindsight that we see things so much more clearly.

The only way that God could have brought me from where I was to where I am today is through that experience. It was the fire that was necessary to mold and shape me into a useful vessel for him.

I can’t think of any other experience that would have come up with the same result.

I’d been praying for a long time for God to use my life in some meaningful way, so, in some ways, I suppose, you could say I asked for it.

Raising children is meaningful, but when you’re in the midst of it, it’s hard to see what difference you’re making sometimes.

Making a home is meaningful, but you still will have to wash the dishes, vacuum and do the laundry again soon.

Having a circle of close friends who just “get you” is meaningful, but we all have busy lives.

For many years, I’d loved Nicole Nordeman’s song, Legacy, in which she sings:

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?

I’d sing that song at the top of my lungs while driving in the car, praying it, playing it, and being moved by it.

My heart yearned to know what when my life was over, it was one that had been well lived.

After Frank died, as I wrote his eulogy, there were plenty of people in his life who had complaints about him. His diabetes had been pretty much out of control for years, which made him at times mean and cantankerous. Yet there were so many others who came forward and shared how he had touched their lives, how he had made a difference for them. How he had granted them the gift of significance by being there for them when they were going through hard times.

I know that I’m not perfect. I can be a bit stubborn. I can get impatient. I can let stress dictate my responses. And I’m sure that there are people in my life who won’t walk away with the best impressions of me because they’ve seen me at my worst more often than I’d like.

However, I’m hoping that when everything is over, when I’ve waited on the Lord long enough and He decides it’s time to call me Home, the scales will be tipped more to the positive side. The legacy I leave will be one that makes a mark on things enough to point people to Him.

As writers, part of how people will remember you is through the words you leave behind.

The short period of my life that I shared with Frank will be remembered and learned from and will bring healing to others as it eventually did to me because of my book, The Best is Yet to Come. It’s just one trail marker I hope to leave along the way that will point people to God and make a mark on things that leaves a lasting effect.

What legacy will you leave?